“I was about 20 when I had my first section. I think I’ve had 9 sections over 13 or 14 years. Too many. Somewhere along that journey I heard about Nilaari. I initially got in touch to see if they could help me with my weed smoking, because I was smoking too much and abusing it.
At first I was diagnosed with stress and drug induced psychosis. My girlfriend was pregnant, so I was stressed out thinking about whether I could be a father to that child or not. I was a bit of mess. Since then they’ve diagnosed bi-polar affective disorder. It took me a long time to accept that. In the early days I wasn’t good with medication. I would just not take it. But I’ve come to accept it, I take the medication. I’ve decided I just want to try to keep everything stable.
In the beginning I was ashamed, but now I don’t feel ashamed. It’s not something I’m proud of. It’s just something that’s happened to me, as a life experience. It’s possible it’ll overwhelm me again. But I’ve had stints where I’ve been out of hospital for 3 or 4 years. And then for whatever reason, I’ve gone back. But I do believe that if I stick to the medication, don’t abuse cannabis, make sure I get enough sleep, and eat properly, I’ll be OK.
When I first came to Nilaari, I didn’t really know what to expect. I didn’t know what kind of help they could offer me, or if there was anything they COULD do. I just thought, ‘Well, if I try and nothing happens, I’m no worse off than I was in the beginning’. I used to come to Nilaari once or twice a month, but since I’ve progressed, we’ve brought it down a lot.
The difference from when I first came and now, is that now I’ve got a lot more positive outlook on my life, and I think that’s only going to get better”.